I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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