my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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