real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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