And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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