some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
