so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
