I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
