Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
do nipples grow back?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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