I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
