Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Dear god my vagina.
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