I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
