why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You ruined the universe
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
