She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
