But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
