I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
