Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
