I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
