All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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