i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
