The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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