I love black thongs
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
