1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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