I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
