remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
