Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
