I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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