i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
