I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
