I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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