Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Help me help you realize you are a moron
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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