I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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