The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
