addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
