Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
