I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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