Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
