if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize