On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
