i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
