so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
