Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
