i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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