hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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