I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize