Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize