i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
