just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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