too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
sex in a hospital.. check
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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