just survived the first fart of the relationship.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
