You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize