Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
