Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
