Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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