Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
one might say we're banned from that church
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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