i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize