Pappa wants mamma naked
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize