dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
