I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
