Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
