It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
