My liver just broke up with me...
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
