If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
